Friday, February 15, 2013

The 5 things to do to stay in LOVE from MY perspective

My husband and I are coming up on our 7 year anniversary in a couple months. We are told all the time what a cute couple we are, and how we make people want to vomit we are so sweet! So I thought maybe I could give a little input on why I think we are the way we are.

1. Communicate
I know, it's cliche, but it is also true. We talk. A lot! More, probably, than he would like. I make sure he always knows what's going on with the kids. What my plans are for the day. And most importantly we talk about things when we are upset. Ok, that's not entirely true. He tends to shut down and go into his grumpy bubble while I talk about how I feel. But that brings us to number 2.

2. Don't hold grudges
Yes he pisses me off and I piss him off, but we get over it and move on. He does his grumpy bubble and I talk and talk until my face turns blue and then we kiss and hug and move on with our day. Things aren't always going to be picture perfect. You are going to irritate each other, you live together and see each other every day, things are going to get annoying. But you have to know when to put it aside and move on.

3. Be affectionate
My husband doesn't pride himself on being the touchy-feely lovey-dovey type, especially in public, but he is still affectionate. We hug and kiss through out the day and hold hands when we are out. There is something about maintaining that physical connection that can strengthen the bond of 2 people. Even when I'm mad at him I still make a point to kiss him and we always kiss good-bye and good-night. Those, I feel, are two big things to remember as well.

4. Make time to be a couple
Now, this isn't something we are particularly good at in the traditional aspect of going out on dates. We just don't have the time or the money for that. But we stay up a little later most nights to cuddle on the couch and watch our favorite TV shows and we make snacks for each other and always ask the other if he/she needs something when we get up. I'm not. Saying we never go out, we make it a point to at LEAST go out for our anniversary every year (we have a special tradition of going to the restaurant he proposed to me in every year) and we try to. Go out alone a few other times when we can manage because I do feel that is important too.

5. Stay committed
Not only to each other but to the idea of being in love. Sure, it was easy to fall in love, and maybe easy to fall out of it, but you have to work at staying in love sometimes. You have to make a conscious effort to be there for each other and for your relationship. You have to know that you are both willing to do whatever it takes to make things work.

So there it is. This may not solve all your problems, maybe it won't help at all, but maybe it is worth giving it a try! Also, this is just off the top of my head so I reserve the right to come back and a) edit and b) add more than 5 things :)

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