3 years ago I was finishing my bachelors degree and this was an assignment I had to do. It is really powerful to sit back and reflect and write a letter to yourself in the past. When I made the decision to go back to school as a single mother I really had no idea how far I would come or where I would be in 5 and now 8 years later. Every time I read this letter I wrote to myself I get teary-eyed. Partly that may have to do with the fact that I envision the way my mom would have spoken to me in this way. 2005 was such an incredibly trying year for me, having my first child as an unwed mother, living in a state that never felt like home, and discovering my mother was dying all within the first few weeks of the new year. Loosing my mom was the hardest thing I had ever experienced and add to that the horrible emotional state I was as a 19 year old new mother and it's amazing to me, even now, to think that I made it through.
Although I am sure I huffed and puffed when I was given this assignment, it is something that I think people should just do sometimes. Take the time to really look at yourself. Look to your past and see how far you have come. If you could go back in time and leave a letter for yourself to find and read, would you? What would you say to yourself? Would you even listen to the advice your future self gave you? Should you? Remember that it is your past experiences that make you who you are today. Perhaps you don't need to change anything, just remind yourself that things happen for a reason and the choices you make and those you have made in the past have lead you to who you are now.
I that think it may be time for me to do this again!
Here is the letter I wrote to myself... We had to read these letters in front of our class and I could barely make it through it with out choking up and there were plenty of wet eyes in the room. I didn't really intend to be so... sentimental?... But it is what it is, and I am who I am.
Dear Self of the Past in 2005,
There will come a time when you will feel at a loss in the world; that you don’t know what step to take to make your future brighter. Times will be tough but you will make the right decision. You will look into the innocent big blue eyes of that gorgeous baby boy that has already brought you so much strength and he will continue to give you the strength to persevere. Getting back into college is the best choice you will make to move forward to become successful for yourself and for your baby. You will continue to develop your skills and become a very mature and educated woman.
From childhood you have wanted to be a teacher, don’t give up on that goal EVER. It may seem impossible at times, but it is achievable. You will come out of your shell and finally feel comfortable in your own skin and with your opinions. Speaking your mind will no longer be a phobia, you will be strong and people will look to you for answers. There may be classes that you take that you think you will never get through or that you thought you would never take, but you will find in the end that they are all worth it. GEN/101 SKILLS FOR LIFELONG LEARNING I will prepare you for the next few years and you will enjoy it, even if you are terrified that first week or two. COMM/110 INTRODUCTION TO ORAL COMMUNICATION will be tough to get through, but in the end it will help you more than any other class to overcome your fears of speaking in public. PSY/430 TEAM DYNAMICS FOR MANAGERS will show you so many dimensions of psychology and into team work you finally start to understand ideas of psychology that never really made sense before, not to mention the professor will make every day interesting. REL/134 WORLD RELIGIOUS TRADITIONS II, I know it sounds crazy you would take this class, but you will find it immensely interesting and give you a new insight into not only your religious beliefs but a new understanding of others.When the day comes that you walk the stage to get your bachelors degree you will proudly accept the honor and realize just how far you have finally come. All the hard work will finally pay off and you will see how valuable your education is to you, even more than you ever thought before. You will look to your husband and your kids (I don’t want to spill the beans too much, but I promise life has some amazing things in store for you in your personal life as well) and you will see how it was so worth it to get back into school in the first place. The future is bright for you now. With a bachelor’s degree in hand and getting registered for your master’s degree in progress you will see that there is nothing that you can’t do!
To you, Julie in 2005, I say… Be strong. Be proud. Never give up and know that you can do it. You are a stronger woman than you ever thought you could be and life, with all its trials and tribulations, will work out for you.
With Love,
Julie of 2010
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