Sunday, July 31, 2011

Mommy Flaws :(

I'll be the first to admit that I'm not perfect, not even close. I love my boys more than anything but they stress me out and can make me crazy. Today I think I realized 2 of my biggest mommy flaws...

First I realized today just how much my screaming and yelling is completely ineffective. Of course this is something I have known but I have a hard time not doing it. Lately the boys have been screaming more and it's making me insane and I know that it's because I get so loud... I have blamed it on the noise level and trying to be heard above it but that's a terrible excuse and there are ways around it and I'm going to find them. Then I tend to blame my "parenting from the couch" on the baby... but now I find that I do it even if the baby isn't nursing or sleeping on me and that HAS to stop.

The second thing I realized today was that so many nights I use going to bed as a punishment and I'm starting to think that may be playing a part in why bedtime is so stressful for me. I'm always saying I'm going to stick to a routine and what not but then I end up getting frustrated and, again, go to yelling and just end up telling them to get in bed and go to sleep. Hopefully if I stop sending them to bed when they are stressing me out and deal with the problem and then still go through with the routine every night they will be much easier to put them to sleep and lead to me being less stressed.

I have to stop thinking that there is going to be an immediate reaction to this change in my behavior. Whatever I do I have to stick with it and then, and only then, will the boys follow suit and change their behavior. These are things that I KNOW so WHY is it so HARD for me to FOLLOW THROUGH?!?!

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